


Oh, Calamity

by ICanShowYou



Category: Fall Out Boy, Peterick - Fandom
Genre: Crack Fic, I don't know why this came out of my brain but it did, I'm Sorry, M/M, definitely a crack fic lmao, pulp fiction referance because why tf not, slightly overused panic referance as well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 23:23:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7142414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanShowYou/pseuds/ICanShowYou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete and Patrick are trying to have a good night and keep getting....<br/>Interrupted</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Calamity

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry

The two tired boys cuddled effortlessly on the couch after another long day of recording. They’ve been there since they returned home, not even eating anything, just watching a few crappy eighties movies and talking about their future.   
“I ‘wanna have kids someday. I want three daughters and two three sons. Anastasia, Autumn, and Winter for the girls. Saint, Bronx, and Declan for the boys.” Patrick rambles.  
“That’s probably too many kids. What about one of each?” Suggests a lump of blanket on the couch (AKA Pete).  
“OK fine. Which names out of those do you like?”  
“Any of them.”  
Patrick slumps farther down. “I wish one of us could like carry a kid. ‘Yknow? I bet that would be interesting.”  
“Why don’t we pretend we’re making a baby, but really just do it.”  
“Well, that was straight-forward…”  
The two boys decide to end their day with a certain activity. Pete places his lips onto Patrick’s and climbs atop him. Just as he’s about to start… Getting frisky, Patrick pushes him off.  
“Pete, call 911. CALL 911! THERE’S SOMEONE AT OUR WINDOW WATCHING US.”  
Pete whips his head back to see you, yes you, about to watch them have sex.  
“Who the fuck are you?” He asks.  
You’re flustered. You don’t know what to do, so you begin to knock on the back door.  
“Don’t let (you) in. Pete no!”  
Pete puts his hand on the door knob. “I’m going to pulverize this mother fucker don’t worry.”  
Surprisingly, Pete opens the back door. You walk through it and into the house without so much as shutting the door behind you.  
“Haven’t you heard of closing the goddamn door?” Patrick chimes in from the couch, where he is almost shaking with fear.  
You sit down next to him, but Pete has other ideas. He grabs you buy your collar and slams you against the wall.  
“Now explain who you are, and why you’re outside my door watching me you son of a bitch.”  
“I- What’s happening?” You barely stutter.  
“Speak, fucker. Where are you from?”  
“What?” You cry out.  
“AH I’VE NEVER BEEN TO WHAT! THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?”  
“W-Wha?”  
“ENGLISH MOTHER FUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?”  
Pete starts picking you up off the ground, sliding your back up against the wall.  
“NOW TELL ME, WHY ARE YOU OUT THERE?”  
“I’m just trying to read this fanfic, I don’t want any trouble!”  
Patrick stands up with a sudden burst of confidence and strolls up to where you’re practically dangling off the wall, Pete’s knuckles are white as he holds you up.”  
“What fanfic?” He asks calmly.  
“This girl on ao3 wrote it. Uhh, I don’t even know what’s happening. One minute I was in my bed reading and the next I was outside your house. I’m so sorry, I’m a huge fan of you guys!”  
“I don’t care if you’d burn our names into your flesh, there’s no reason why you should be outside our house and Pete, please let (you) go!”  
Pete reluctantly drops you to your feet, you try to regain your balance.  
“I’m leaving right now, I don’t want trouble.” You exclaim.   
You walk back out the door, not even looking behind you. You shut your eyes tight and when you open them, you’re back in your bed, reading a simple, poorly written fanfiction.  
But really reader, give those two some privacy. Damn.

**Author's Note:**

> So so sorry


End file.
